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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
ravenlaced's InsaneJournal:
| Thursday, August 18th, 2011 | |
| 9:30 pm | just another day well im just for the most part chilling on bed rest i really think i shouldn't have slept as long as i did today but being on bed rest really makes it hard to accomplish that.....i miss my dad hes still in iraq and theres a possibility that hes not going to be here for the babys birth but i understand his motives at least so thats the good part about it i guess......bumkin is kicking up a storm like ever.....brandons doing great hes an amazing man to me and i love him dearly with all my heart not just for his compation but for his love and tenderness his insparation and strength that i dont really think he realizes in himself sometimes......guess there are just those kind of people in the world......one in a million i haft to omit to that......i know of so many girls who dream of this kind of connection...... well anyways on the off note at that i think im gonna jet off here and find something online to keep my mind occupied. and the word of the moment is penny loved star p.s. have you ever truly feared death i do but its not something i can ever change i just hope as the years go on i can overcome that fear i think that is my true goal in life. Current Mood:  awakeCurrent Music: none dont want to wake up my man |
| Tuesday, August 16th, 2011 | |
| 7:43 am | been a long time i kind of gave up on writing on this thing for a while wanted to wash away everything from the past of all of the bullshit......so to say......the man i was with in august is nothing but a faint memory to me now people are pissed off that hes in jail and are trying to blame the people that have nothing to do with his undoings......just to say it all he did this to himself i just choose to not be drowned into his madness i hope he gets whats coming to him im sorry for saying that i wish shit could have been different but when you cant change your ways for the better of your life then its your fault that karma kicked you in the ass......being said on april 10 2011 i got married to a wonderful man named Brandon M Gour i love him dearly and he truly is my night in shinning armor......and guess what im 6 months prego with a lil baby girl named Penny Laurene Gour im really exited to get my life started with her but because of a condition called Placenta Previa i haft to take it easy and basically be on bed rest for the whole month of august eh gotta do what you gotta do for the babys im just loosing my mind with all this shit its just hard to me to sit still and be bed ridden if only i could keep my mind together about shit......i still have my dog Daisy May and shes just as awnry as hell dont really know how to spell that at all but eh i tried but anyways signing off on a new chapter in my life. the word of the moment is pregnant loved star Current Mood: awakeCurrent Music: come undone placebo |
| Monday, August 2nd, 2010 | |
| 3:32 am | the ending at the bar well this was a strange turn of events for the night you would think that out of all the work and money waisted for helping out i still get yelled at and rediculed.....yeah that was a fun night at the bar for my first day of work all because i told my man no to call me baby so much at the bar cause a customer complained about it and in the long run it makes you lose your tips......i get told to fuck off yeah that was nice.....but i made like 70 bucks at the club and tomorrow ill get a chance to go into des and fill out some paper work and i get the day off thank fucking god!!!! really needed that after the fuckin week ive been having.......but yeah i did good im really happy over that.....but anyways and the word of the moment is ratty loved star Current Mood:  contemplativeCurrent Music: none dont want to wake grouchy |
| Tuesday, July 27th, 2010 | |
| 9:59 am | waiting and pretty much getting ready well today im deciding to go to work early its not that im feeling hella lazy from laying around all day yesterday but then i was feeling really shitty was suppost to be in work but at that moment i was tired and feeling like hell had to run home in the whole process of going to see laney.....but its so awsome to hang out with her i truly am considering her one of my best friends and truly a person that i can trust......and comming from me thats saying a lot in the least.......hmmmm i dont know why i cant get that memorie out of my head just going over them again and again sigh just one of those things i guess.......god sometimes i feel like i have a full house with the dog, cat and ferrit it made me really consider if i can take care of all of them its just a lot i wouldn't say as much as kalina has thou but she runs a reptile farm basically so shes used to having the reponsability......sigh i really hope i at least make something at work soon here but if not im gonna haft to work online again oh fun fun but anyways....i also hope to have some pics up on the comps soon here yay come check them out when you have the chance you can find me on myspace or facebook under Ravenlaced@hotmail.com anyways have a good one to all followers if any. and the word of the moment is smoke loved star Current Mood:  calmCurrent Music: knockout lil wayne |
| Thursday, July 15th, 2010 | |
| 1:07 pm | another day in fucking paridice well i just found out that my fucking bank account charged me 10.00 service fee for sending the money which sucks cause they overdrafted my account again im just sick of people in this fucking world trying to take a bite out of me cause i have money fucking criminals everyone seems to rob each other these days and you dont need your own friends to rob you no your banks and fucking food and everything else does the job for you. |
| 12:04 am | hmmm thinking well i feel like its been forever since i actually got the chance to sit down and think for a while.....or just breathe for a while in that whole deparment.....well my car runs just fine now after my parents spending their blood sweat and tears on it.....i feel bad for wanting to get rid of the hundai but all the same it was just turning into this huge money pit that was way less than the actual value of that damned car.....its funny to see me go from the mustang to the hundai im all reving the shit out of the hundai every time i get into it.....my job is comming along nicely it would just be a blessing to take a break more often im just wondering if i feel like i need a vacation for a day from all the drama wait a minute that was pretty much today sort of...... anyways me and ratty are doing amazing iloves him sooooo much kisses baby and the word of the moment is black loves star |
| Saturday, June 26th, 2010 | |
| 1:14 pm | in sierra vista now well the club is amazing and totally drama free for the most part i love the fact that dawn isnt' there it just makes life that much more easier.....i guess last night i pissed off one of the bouncers for some shit i dont know what to do about it thou so im gonna tip him out excellent next time i see him thou so one little step at a time eh.....but things are great gotta get some stuff done today but for the most part i have what i need done gotta get the damn comp in the house thou forgot about that one sigh just like i said just one of those days |
| Saturday, June 19th, 2010 | |
| 9:40 am | airport pickup well today is finally the day i want to get ready right now and keep my mind off of the task at hand but i got to get going with this shit so.....at 7:54pm today i gotta pick mom up from the airport then were gonna chill here for the night and head out tomorrow dont know about everyone else but im going to be losing my mind while im waiting for all of this to happen not to mention after were done with all this driving i get a day to pull myself together befor i need to go to the club and get to working......yeah thats gonna be fun.....oh yeah i got my job back at dusk till dawn im so fucking happy i cant truly wait!!!! but anyways and me and ratty are together but like ive always said i know that when im getting together with ratty its just going to be me and him but in the long run thats how we have always been in the past present and most likely future thats just how i feel about all of this in the long run.....sigh my parents are moving to las vegas and its just a head case with all of that and cause my dad had such a bad reaction to joe (the kitty cat of the palace) i gotta take him daisy and myself with all of my jazz over to rattys but i think im gonna wait to move in the calvery untill i have what i need settled im gonna die of sleep depravation i can just feel it now.... me and ana hung out the last night befor i needed to go get my mom now im just dealing with insomnia while the restless vega sleeps behind me its funny how i started out this trip how im ending it dejavue all the time i guess.....so thats that i die of bordom till i get out of here and i gotta deal with the obviouse sigh and the word of the moment is ratty loved star Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: nothing at the moment |
| Sunday, June 13th, 2010 | |
| 11:48 am | another day in fucking paridise locked away in this one walled room with the daylight blinding me threw the window to my right.....these ragged nights just dragging on my soul its hard to sleep when you have a head full of noncense i have no will to get up for the days brightness just lock my self away more more time please leave me to this comfort withthin myself heh what comfort and the word of the moment is lost loved star Current Music: haunted poe |
| Saturday, June 12th, 2010 | |
| 5:01 pm | in a hotel room now well that bastard luke finally got sick of me being in the house so now im in a hotel room in washington that my dad payed for i cant complain thou its really nice and i get whatever amount of time that i need to just do what i gotta do so its really nice ......but more or less the summary of what happened was he threatened me that he was gonna fuck me up and call the cops somehow on me and the way that i look ive been arrested befor for suspicouse character befor i dont know i guess in a sence i got scared that he really was gonna carry out with his threats and the whole time im dealing with this im having like 5 panic attacks in a row this is what happens to me when i gotta deal with high stress situations dont really know how to dispurse adrenaline threw my system so instead of going more or less in to action i just kind of panicked so yeah thats pretty much what happened and i cant really say anything cause of eric and tanya and her husband being there and if i say anything its really gonna fuck me over everyone knows that befor i leave here im at least going to say something but right now its a little hard for me to say anything and im afraid if i do do something and he finds out where i am he could use that against me and come after me......it really sucks when people abuse use and fuck you over JUST TO LET THE WORLD KNOW AND GOD JOSIE I HOPE YOU READ THIS SOME DAY I FUCKED LOOK THE ENTIRE TIME YOU TWO WERE STILL TOGETHER IF YOU READ THIS JOURNAL YOU CAN READ IT ALL!!! I WAS WITH LUKE DEMERS SO FUCKING HA sorry revenge is a dish served best cold and if this is the only way for the time being i can do anything about this situation then fine im not even sure anyone reads this anyways but i thought i would just keep a fucking log about it..... but like i said befor i dont care when i get back home im gonna be with an amazing man Ratty and i get my doggy back and my job at dusk till dawn suicidegirls and im working for mfc so in theory things are going to be fantastic im to exited about what the future is going to hold for me but pissed off and skewering untill it does which is more or less the part that sucks but anyways gotta get smokes some sugar and get ready for work so ill leave off with that..... and the word of the moment is bliss loved star Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: rock that body black eyed peas |
| Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 | |
| 12:45 pm | RIP Grandma Moe RIP Grandma Moe you will always be remembered as the woman that would give little dinner and a lot of desert i love you with all my heart and miss youCurrent Mood: numbCurrent Music: rise against dancing for rain |
| Tuesday, May 25th, 2010 | |
| 11:24 am | star and Eric? may 25 2010 anyways i broke up with L lastnight i just couldn't deal with the way i was being treated anymroe and the worst part about the whole thing is i dont feel like he really cared about losing me in his life......its just the way hes been acting it makes me feel like i need to be more on my guard more than ever befor but i just think that he was treating me the way he was because he wanted me to take this course of action.....i swear to it im gonna work my booty off today i just need to get my head together about it all......get some money in my pocket and get out of this apartment into something new it sucks but i gotta do what i gotta do or call bust and go home......i hope it doesn't come down to plan 2 but i dont know what to do about it really.....anyways just think happy thoughts right :) and the word of the moment is new love loved star |
| Monday, May 10th, 2010 | |
| 7:16 pm | another day befor surgery another day befor i need to go to surgery great but other than that things are looking up to be better ill tell you what that medicine i was taking really had me fucked up for a while there.....really messed up in the head but i believe i have things under control now or at least me and L have come so some kind of understanding where one another is comming from.....well i got 4 surgerys left the next one is tomorrow so ill probly not post anything for a while due to the fact that im going to be fucked up from all hell....but im pretty sure there going to put me on some really cool shit so that works......my parents are dishing out like 9 grand for this whole thing thou with no insurance ......ive been thinking a lot about this idea that i have had lately.....i heard about this woman that made her own website and wrote everything about her daily life and she got payments from it......and all she did was make this website explaining the hardships in her life as well as the good things and made almost 15 million from donations.....i dont know how much this is gonna get spammed but i really believe that my life is interesting enough to write about and accept donations in the process.....you can only try thats what i think about it well today is another day just chilling out but im all good with that apparently L has some plans for use next weekend thats a suprise so like always i hope the best for some fun. anyways and the word of the moment is teeth loved star Current Mood:  accomplishedCurrent Music: none at the moment |
| 12:20 am | another example abandoned torn and corrupted these wretched thoughts etching their way into my brain.....forced to live this habit of solitude alone without help or hope drowning in this word of love he's givin me.....you would think this would make him happy.......insomina etched into my mind with the worry of doubt would he tell me the truth if i asked like i always need to.....push me away after being gone so much i guess he really liked being away in the end.....with the hope the comfort that i have always learned to complete myself with i feel like he tears down my walls with fire and hurt......these tears are for you now. loved star |
| Sunday, May 9th, 2010 | |
| 2:05 pm | reality well im done with this shit im just about to the point of looking for another appartment not only is l totally ignoring me......not only that but if i dont make 400 befor the 15th im going to jail for unpaid bills and ide rather not......i dont know if i should just leave this state and move somewhere else im really sick of all this shit thou and if it doesn't stop im going to do what i need to do to survive......well i guess i gotta do what i gotta do.....plan B and the quote of the moment is fucked over loved star |
| Saturday, May 8th, 2010 | |
| 8:51 am | dentist day well my parents ended up paying like 9968.70 for my dentist bill and i gotta get 6 teeth pulled which im really not looking forward to today they might be able to save some teeth of mien but for the time being i am losing some it tears my heart that i haft to loose them but i have all the support in the world right now gotta take 4 pretty white pills befor i go in to if one just fucked me up like it did last night i cant imagine what 4 is going to do to me......drug me the fuck up ill tell you what.......L is finally home and my heart feels whole again for once we had our first real fight last night but it meant so much to me.....like it really wasnt a fight but more or a realization i love you L!!! so theres whats going on right now in my fucking life hopefully somehow i can pull threw this okay and unscaved.....i hope wish me luck guys! and the word of the moment is tooth loved star Current Mood: numbCurrent Music: if i never see your face again |
| Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 | |
| 11:57 pm | smile for the pretty fucking camera well tomorrow or friday L is finally comming back home (AND ABOUT DAMN TIME GOOD GREEF!!) but anyways.......so my front teeth just started hurting recently and i was getting really pissed off about the pain with it of course not being so bad at the time.......called my mom and decided to go to the dentist this is probly the only thing that i will tell the truth about my teeth to well you and L of course im losing 6 of the teeth and getting fillings and dentures for the missing and last of the teeth i have.....karma has taken everything from me and when i thought that it couldn't get worse it did.....every fucking time well at least i can smile at L one more time befor they strip that away from me but god help the fucking willing if hes not back this weekend........but other than that things are going good and i might have a way in a little less than 8 months to get my tits finally done....p.s new pic up oh yeah!!! been a while since i have changed this one so i really think that it needs to be done.....got that looks like it was so long ago........living every day looking like things are just changing slowly and slowly.....damn i forgot what i was talking about for a min there......and im only 23 years old my name is Shayle L. Resnick and these are my rambelings. loved star Current Music: emotion? |
| Thursday, April 29th, 2010 | |
| 6:35 pm | insanity so if things couldn't get worse the most insane shit just hit the fucking fan......well first off my L went to the field and i wont be seeing him for a while which tears out my heart cause i miss the hell out of him right now.....then the new job that i just started and have been working my ass of at for the past week is closing now cause they got sued for prostitution so now i gotta find myself another job.....then i found out that will tompson from my high school was stabbed to death by his babys mama.....im just in disbelief over that one all over the place like in my mind i cant conceive thats what really went down..... |
| Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 | |
| 12:51 am | good luck streak? i hope its more than a day i could really use the good luck at this moment i finally got the job and i promise to give it my all no matter what....i have come way to far and have worked way to hard to go home now empty handed i really just cant wait untill i start my tomorrow what will it bring.....moving on the 1st cant wait im so exited |
| Thursday, April 15th, 2010 | |
| 4:04 am | what happens well this is what happens when you cross bleach with hay nothing.....sorry insomnia is kind of stripping my mind and insanity out of control and it really fucking sucks i crave sleep and yet i cant grasp the existence of it just barely out of my reach.....spin spin this color makeup of passion....for this kiss has now corrupted the wicked..... on another subject other than insomnia (well get back to that later) me and l are finally moving this Saturday im so fucking exited i cant wait to just be on our own but im afraid this insomnia is going to make me lose it.... now back to the poetic rambling....tear streaked eyes starring out into nothingness a hand grasping for that non existence is this whats left of our sunshine....if only to entrap it into a box treasure and pet it for you believe that this has always been yours....i have always believed this was my worst mistake.....the ones you don't take back.....lies to my face about a abusive nature thats all you are to me a corrupted piece of shit (just thought ide let you know) his smile his kiss his passion means everything to me in the end but for someone that i have known forever i feel closer to him than i ever will with you.... and the word of the moment is black stars loved star Current Mood:  indescribableCurrent Music: n/a virus adds fun |